We think it will be fun to post tl weekly collection some of the coldest takes related to some of the events of the previous week.  Thus, we present the inaugural Cold Take Report.  One caveat: to avoid narrowing the selection of takes, a statement or quote that was made before the previous week may qualify.

Without further ado, the report…

  • Last Wednesday, the NBA and its players agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement assuring no work stoppages until 2022. The news prompted us to post a long list of snarky tweets throughout the past five years intimating that a lockout in 2017 was inevitable. Among them were a few tweets from Sean Highkin, a writer for the Chicago sports themed website The Athletic. Safe to say Sean was pessimistic that the league would avoid a 2017 lockout.  It’s possible that Sean may have been attempting some sort of reverse jinx tactic here, or maybe he was being extremely facetious.  Nevertheless, here is the Sean Highkin “sky is falling” collection:

img_2232   img_2238 img_2248-1

  • On Sunday night, the San Antonio Spurs retired Tim Duncan’s jersey, celebrating a Hall of Fame career that saw numerous other accomplishments including five NBA championships and two MVP awards.  Leading up to the 1997 NBA draft, the Boston Celtics, who had finished with the league’s second worst record in the regular season, were hoping to land the number one overall pick in the NBA draft lottery so they could pick Duncan in the upcoming draft. It wasn’t meant to be.  The Spurs won the lottery, drafted Duncan, and the rest is history.  After the lottery, Buffalo News columnist Jerry Sullivan penned a column assuring Celtics fans that better days were ahead:

Pitino’s tenure as Boston’s head coach was a failure.  In the three and a half years Pitino was in charge, the Celtics never had a winning record.

  • While we were able to cite numerous instances of when the University of Alabama’s football dynasty was declared dead, we neglected to mention SEC Country’s Michael Carvell’s 2014 proclamation:


“Kiffin,” of course, is offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin, who was announced as the new head coach at Florida Atlantic University last Wednesday.  In the three years Kiffin has run the Crimson Tide’s offense, Alabama posted a 39-3 overall record, won a national championship, and is currently the number one seed in the upcoming College Football Playoff.

  • Last Wednesday, on or around 4:20pmET, the Arizona Cardinals released Michael Floyd after he was arrested for a DUI. At 5:11pmET, Mike Loyko, lead writer for nepatriotsdraft.com, tweeted that the Patriots were “not picking up a player [like Floyd] with that much baggage right before they start a playoff run.” Six minutes later, Ian Rapaport reported that the Patriots picked up Michael Floyd.
  • After receiving a 24-3 thrashing from the Seattle Seahawks Thursday night, the Los Angeles Rams are now 1-9 since play-by-play announcer JB Long labeled them “the most disrespected and underrated 3-1 team in the NFL.”
  • The curse of the Sports Illustrated cover jinx lives on as the Arizona Cardinals were eliminated from playoff contention after Sunday’s 48-41 loss to New Orleans:
via Sports Illustrated
via Sports Illustrated
  • In 2014, NFL writer and Nashville sports talk radio host Paul Kuharsky was astounded by the fact that people were still making jokes about the downtrodden Jacksonville Jaguars despite the fact that GM Dave Caldwell hired head coach Gus Bradley before the 2013 season…

Caldwell fired Bradley on Monday after he posted a 14-48 record in almost four years as the Jags’ coach.

  • In March, many were baffled when the Houston Texans signed unproven free agent QB Brock Osweiler to a four-year, $72 million contract after starting only seven games in four seasons with the Broncos. Bill Simmons was not one of them…

After struggling all year, Osweiler was benched in the first half of Sunday’s game against Jacksonville in favor of backup Tom Savage. It appears that Savage will remain the starter for the time being.

  • On Sunday, the Oakland Raiders clinched the AFC West division title and the franchise’s first playoff birth since 2002 after beating the Chargers 19-16.  Here’s CBS Sports’ Pete Prisco before the season…

  • On Saturday, the University of Minnesota football team ended it’s boycott of all football activities. The team was boycotting in protest of the suspension of 10 teammates in connection with a university sexual assault investigation. The boycott had threatened the Gophers appearance in the December 27 Holiday Bowl. A day before the team called off the boycott, analyst (and Holiday Bowl alum) Rick Neuheisel discussed the issue on Sirius XM Radio…

  • During the 2nd quarter of Saturday night’s Dolphins-Jets game, Dolphins coach Adam Gase threw the challenge flag after a Dion Sims catch in the endzone was ruled incomplete. New York Daily News writer Manish Mehta, who is usually spot on with bold, declarative takes, immediately dismissed the crazy notion that the Dolphins would win the challenge…

The Dolphins won the challenge and the catch was ruled a touchdown; the first points of the night for the Dolphins en route to a 34-13 victory.

  • Back in September 2015, the San Diego State University football team was 1-2 and apparently reeling. In response, San Diego Times Union Tribune columnist Kevin Acee wrote a scathing piece calling for head coach Rocky Long’s ouster and excoriating the program.  Among his points:

It has to do with the viability of a program that sucks money from a public institution and isn’t important enough    to enough people to justify such an expenditure.

This can’t be the best SDSU football can be. Long has had long enough to show he can do more. Like beat a big-time team. He can’t do it.

[Long] he has been unable to recruit a quarterback or enough other difference makers or come up with a way to beat North Carolina or Oregon State or Missouri or Washington.

Maybe the column was the jolt the team needed.  The Aztecs went 10-1 the rest of the way, including a perfect 8-0 Mountain West Conference record, a conference championship, and a 42-7 blowout win against American Athletic Conference foe Cincinnati in the Hawaii Bowl.

Long and the Aztecs had similar success in 2016.  On Saturday, SDSU capped off another 11-3 season with a convincing win over Houston in the Las Vegas Bowl.  Prior to that, the Aztecs won their second consecutive MWC championship.  The 2016 season also saw a victory over Pac 12 team California and running back Donnell Humphrey break the all time NCAA rushing yards record.  How is that for a difference maker?

As for Acee, he’s still not impressed. In a November 30 column, he confirmed that he still thinks Rocky Long should be fired:

Where I stand has been made clear – that the current head coach has been on the Mesa too Long, so to speak, that the Aztecs have bumped up too many times against the fence that corrals mediocrity and keeps it from greatness.

On Monday, Acee took to the radio airwaves to explain his position. He said that the Las Vegas Bowl performance did not change his mind and that although it was a “nice win,” SDSU should be a bit more “big time.” He further argued that his 2015 column was “all about relevance,” and that SDSU has to beat teams like Stanford and Arizona State for him to consider it a “big win.”  Is this just stubbornness from a columnist who refuses to issue a mea culpa? Or does Mr. Acee have a point?  Regardless, be careful what you wish for Kevin, big wins by up and coming coaches usually come with a large price, just ask the Aztecs most recent opponent, the Houston Cougars.

That’s just about it for this week’s report.  Here’s one more for the road…

See you next week.

About Fred Segal

Fred Segal, 35, grew up in the Miami, Florida area and currently lives in Coral Springs, Florida, with his wife and two children. He is currently an attorney practicing in West Palm Beach, Florida, at the law firm Broad and Cassel. Fred is a graduate of the University of Florida and is a rabid, borderline unhealthy, supporter of the Florida Gators.